people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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