You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
do herpes really smell.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
