SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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