My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
