I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
