Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
