I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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