u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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