The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
