nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
