I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
