are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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