OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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