first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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