Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
