Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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