I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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