Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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