Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
