Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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