You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
True strength comes from lack of pants
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
