My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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