i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
