Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
