i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
