4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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