I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just threw up on my dentist
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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