They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
