I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
