If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
