Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
