If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
