fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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