called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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