3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i've created a new STD.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
