Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
