i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
