Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
