My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
