Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
