So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
