I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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