I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
