What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
