thus making me awesome and them whores
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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