Need sex. Gaining weight.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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