What did we do last night that was yellow?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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