PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
