I'm gonna have a badass scar
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
