Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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