I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just blew my weed a kiss
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
