Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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