i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
